THE LAST PRESENT FOR YOU
by Arisuawa Sama
Summary: Advice: Shonen-ai Dark thoughts and introspective of Near in the night of Mello’s Birthday. Very Depressive. Angst.


Author's Notes: Hello!! Hajimemaste Minna-sama! This is my first time at FF. I'm Nervous. And for present myself I write this history, is in English as my second language, so confusion, mistakes of my part or suggestions about the language are absolute welcome. I hope you enjoyed this exactly the same I enjoy for write it. In some time I will publish some (or all I don't know yet) of my others jobs. But I have to translate yet. Hope for it.

By the way I usually write in Spanish. And I love shonen-ai and yaoi. Other of my nicknames is: Mahozahamy Arisugawa and Suzaku_Girl16.

Comment. All you want. Your opinion is important for me.

My! I forgot the disclaimer, ok Here is: I don't own the characters that appear in this history, they are property of his authors and associates. This is just for fun, with all my love for the other fans and not with commercial intentions.

This blood… is red like wine and black like him… Is the last piece of my heart? Ridiculous poetry, nothing more, my mind is white just like me. And I hate this. In the end I hate him and hate myself even more for being so introverted, a freaky child with a genius mind. My eyes are son blank, emotionless, but the thin I hate the most is this stupid and sick form of love.

At last is only in night when your presence is more real for me, when you rest in the black velvet. I see you face if I close my eyes, all the time.

I lost myself, when I lose you. I don't know who I am. I don't care anything. If I die is good. If I live anything change at last. The world is the same freeze place since I was born. Nothing will change.

I feel the touch of the death in my heart, so close. I'm so empty.

Why? Tell why you don't love me. Is because I'm a boy? Is that, right? I'm a boy and another boy can love me, no in the way I want. You are an impossible for me. I cannot feel the fear anymore. I just can feel the poison frost of you rejection.

Your eyes are so beautiful for me, even if they are covered with the fury, with the awful hate. And your touch is sweet and warm even if is a punch, even if hurts like hell.

I still broken by you forever, and you didn't even notice at all. Maybe one day you remember me in the future. But your thoughts don't be sweetest of happiness. You will remember me with all your hate.

Maybe in the future you will marry a pretty girl and have some children. You will live and you will be happy, proud, and shine, as the star you ever has been. And me, I will still love at you, hating the girl you will marry, jealous of her place in your life. More than only that, jealous of the place she will have in your heart.

Why you hurt me? Why you break my soul in the million pieces of an infinity puzzle? Is for fun? Is for hate?

I love you, but my love is frozen with your rejection. I can't forget about you. Don't ask me for that is simply unable to be realized. I know my own limits and all of them are you in some way, always you.

This will be better if I'm not here anymore. You will be the number one then just like you most wanted desire. I'm not will be in your way ever more, and you can call me then a coward stupid then. Do it as you please. It doesn't mater anymore.

Second to second my life is gone. I don't want to think. I don't want to talk either. I just want descend in a silent dark. In a breezy dark, forget about the stupid white, about the noise, about all pain

I'm not going to become in an angel at my death, I kwon it well, I'm not going to hell for become in a devil either, it's obviously, just a fact of the world, when this night go to nothing I'm go with her, to no where. Because when a life form dies never coming back.

When a human being dies, no one can turn in to life again, is over.

I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to breathe either. I'm so tired of this irrational existence, just for watching you. A frustrated desire of this withered heart. I hate this old and horrible blood in my veins. For love you, for want your company, your gentile touch.

I'm so afraid about this, but the fear is simply a system of auto preservation, you know it? Is a mechanism, but this night I'm going to ignore it. For this night I'm going to think only about you. Think about you for the last time in my life. Because when this night is over my life is over too.

I'm not available for watch another dawn, afternoon or night. What a pity.

All people will be screaming when my body will be found. They will scream, God he was too young! He has all life for live! What life? No one can see me exactly like I am. For all I'm a monster, a necessary thing but no a dear thing, just another annoying piece for solve they live. Not human at all, more like robot, not available for be loved.

The only thing I want of all in the world and life never can be mine. You will be live, with the glory.

I'm so afraid; many things came to my mind in this precisely moment. But I have no more time.

The dawn is coming. This will be my last dawn. What a pity.

Is beautiful, Mello, don't you believe me? Is like a jewel, a crimson jewel. Don't you believe is gorgeous? You want it? Don't worry about this possession this time.

Maybe is a freak and gross, and of course you can think whatever you want about, but this is my lat present for you.

A glass filled with my blood.

This is my most precious possession, my own life. Right is just a disgusting liquid of my body, but did you known? Ancient cultures believe in the soul, and they believe what contained the soul is the blood. Is for this belief I'm going give to you my blood, for gives to you my own soul too, is my present for you, the last one, and the more precious. Do as you please with it, is your possession now.

Whatever, I'm will be your for ever, don't matter what happens to me, even if this is the very end, I'm yours Mello, only yours.

This is the surrender of your perfect enemy. Be proud of this. This is a red flag, a liquid jewel in a glass, but the meaning is the same as my stupid white, my surrender.

Here comes the sun, is beautiful, so warm… Intense bright…

Oh, I'm sorry Mello I must say goodbye… here comes… the dark…

* - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *

One child with blond hair and wild green eyes entered to the common room, he can't wait more this morning was his birthday and he expects lots and lots of gifts for this special day, he hold a chocolate in his right hand and for nervous he munched it.

Then… He saw it.

And he screams with all his heart and all orphan children in Wammy's House can hear it.

When all people coming scared for that scream, something horrible was happen. And the scene was exactly like a Horror Movie.

The common room only has a bigger window in east and all mornings the sunlight filled the room with warm and bright, but this morning the meaning of the sunlight was awful.

Lot of children screaming when saw that, exactly as Mello.

A death body tainted with blood was sat in front of the window.

The corpse of a genius child called Near was sat in front of the big window.

He committed suicide. Cut his veins with a big jackknife at his side. And all his blood covered the floor, surrounding the corpse.

But still something even worse waits in the other person on room.

Mello stay in the floor in front of the death body knelling and crying, at his side one chocolate bar, in his right hand one cup empty but stained with blood.

All the morning was a shock, for someone, who understands everything.

He took Mello with him and locked the door of the room quickly before someone can see the sin he committed the Blonde child still screaming, moaning and crying but still clinging the bloody cup.

L, the best detective in the entirely world no needs words.

With out a word he hugs the boy and whispered softly in his ear:

---You loved him doesn't? I'm sorry Mello I'm sorry.

But the boy doesn't have force even for talk. He cried all the day and night.


End file.
